Talkers are losers.

If any of you know Razor Ramon, you must know “Smokers are losers” was his punch line. But this post is not about Razor Ramon or his punch line. Read away!

I think you already got the point. And there are thousands of them all around. They will be sitting there minding their own business and when someone proposes to do something, these people just burst up with full of energy from God knows where and starts to put forth these “brainstorm” ideas! Some even go to the extent of inviting Obama for inaugurating an half an hour seminar of one of the students!

The usual questions and remarks are

“Why do we have to do it like that?”

“Let’s do this”

“Let’s do that”

“That hasn’t got the punch” (Soon they’ll be getting a punch!)

“Just that? Nothing else?”

“That won’t work man”

“Why plan something that is going to be a flop?”

“Nobody is going to notice it”

“Let’s take that program and route it via this one and set up a multi dimensional hologram so that the aliens passing by might see it and attend” (For goodness sake!)

You must hear them mouthing off all these “brilliant” ideas. And when you tell them, “Hey, let’s stick to the things we can do” they get all touchy and emotional as if their “stupendous” opinions weren’t valued! Oh my God… It would be nice if you could tell them “STFU”. But why make enemies? So we put that in mind.

And not only that, these guys are worse than lawyers! They spot all the tiny weeny things that weren’t upto their expectations and go on griping about them. But hey, let’s look at the bright side. Its one thing all of us programmers find really useful. Debugging! Okay, let me dub them “The Debuggers”! Less offensive too right?

Now there is one category of people who is just full of team and group spirit when talking to but when you ask them for support and participation for a venture that you’ve taken a bit trouble to organize, they come up with this bull-shit excuses of having “Exams” or a certain ‘sudden’ mood to study the second paragraph of some third chapter.

Getting things done is the beauty. Not organizing a group together so that you can sit and gossip about the things happening around you. Instead of sitting and saying, “I hate everyone and everything around me”, try to give it a shot so as to make things right. You don’t have to go to any extent of making everything right. Just start off one small piece with a few friends of yours. And just like an open source project, talk to people to pick up on the idea. Not everyone will co-operate, but some people are there who can be convinced. Some souls who just needs the tiniest bit of motivation or push. But unfortunately, since gossiping is way much easier and does not need any strain, they join that club pretty easily.

The first sentence of the last paragraph was the advice Shalin Jain gave me when I tried to “talk” to him about these “great” ideas that I had. And that was the best advice one could give I guess.

I may not truly and wholly be right in what all I’ve just said. I’m a human too. But I believe I have the right to say what I’ve said.

Our Engineer’s day. (In the memory of 15th September, 2008)

When Afaf told me to blog about this day, I really did not think I would. But then I realized I can read this again some day later which will bring back a few moments of lovely thoughts…

We have completed 3 years of engineering. 3 years of college life. We have seen and learned so much (of course, not academically!) But philosophically regarding life and relations. Some of us even have learned academics pretty well.

I remember the 15th of September, 2008. I came to the hostel directly with my mom and dad early in the morning. There was a lot of hustle and bustle as the confused freshers were trying to get a grip on what the heck was going on. Suffice to say we had to wear Hawaii slippers, we couldn’t fold up our full sleeves, we were not allowed to tie watches, we couldn’t put anything in our shirt pockets and oh sweet lord, we had to run all the way to the college gate (from MH) with hands raised and books in our hands!! These were the unwritten laws of our beloved seniors at our beloved college.

But thank God Hashim was there whenever I needed to talk to. I love him. May God bless him. 🙂 I’ve wrote about him here.

Back then I used to almost curse each day morning. Time would really slow down when our running starts and it will be a lifetime before we reach the college gates… But now.. Now that we are fourth year students, the first year happenings are the only common things that we can sit together, talk about and laugh… 🙂

I mean even today when I ask, “Hey da, do you remember how we shot each other with the drafter” or “Dude!! The push ups on the grill!!” or “I jumped higher than you during those mech salutes”, to my friends, there is this sense of having lived life… What I mean is, the things that didn’t used to make sense once are now making the best of memories I will ever have.:) I believe what happening today that drives me crazy will make sense tomorrow when I grow up… 🙂

I have seen many people change in this course of time including me. I’m not the kid that used to simply sit in his seat without doing or saying anything. Frankly, right now I think I’m overdoing it. 😉

My sister advised me to never put smileys while writing. I’m trying to follow it hard (stupid sms habit. Just won’t go away) but this post deserves some. 😀

I go through my diary and see what all has happened. I mostly laugh at everything written over there. I’m sure I’ll laugh until I cry some day when I go through it after a long while..

Hey, next year this time? We won’t be here…

Those were the best days of my life. 🙂

Here is my most loved song ever. No dedications. Anyone who has enjoyed their college life even a bit will surely appreciate this. Whatever be said, I really am going to miss this life a lot…

Yup, I AM going to miss it…

An unusual paragraph.

What is so unusual about this paragraph? It is so fairly obvious that you wouldn’t know it at your first try. So what must you do? Right! Try again and again without giving up at all. Go through it again and you will find out what is that much amazing about this paragraph. Just sit vigilantly and scan through top to bottom staring at all of this and it shall dawn upon you. You might not gain any cool information or so going through this, but all in all, this paragraph has a shock to part. You might think what I am upto by making you go through this crap, but mark my words, at last coming to know what fact lay so plainly in front of you, will probably kill you. Frankly, if you had Batman’s instincts, you could by now sit back and sip a cup of your most tasty drink. I stop now. If you still got nothing as a solution, do drop a mail. May your skills grow always.

Brotherhood of MH.

MH, the letters that sent a shiver through all the first year students studying at my college.

I’ve been a part of it. Yeah right. Got lots of memories.

Let me take you to the scene. MH 1. The right wing. Room 99. That’s where I belong.

When I came here, I was very well equipped. Bucket, cup, brush, paste, pen, pencil, scale, A4s and what not! I had my own soap too!

But the brotherhood of MH was more than any other that I ever saw.

One fine day morning just after shifting to 99, one of my neighbours came and asked me for my bucket and cup so that he could bath. Me being a good sport handed it right over to him. That marked the beginning.

Soon I was clueless so as to what happened. Well, not only clueless but bucketless, cupless, soapless, pasteless, penless, paperless and thank God they didn’t take away my under garments. But I’m not to be trifled with! I joined the game and soon I was making everyone bucketless and cupless! There was no ownership for anything and no asking for permission of anything. If you want it, then you are its owner. Such was the brotherhood of MH.

But all this while I was under a secret hope that they would come back to me. My bucket and cup. They were with me from the very first day of mine at college. And that hope was finally rewarded today!

When I was up at 6 in the morning and going to wash my face, I happened to look at the opposite wing. There she was!! My bucket! In the hands of a senior going to the toilet. My breathe quickened, my walk turned into a run and my adrenaline was pumped. I was like a hero trying to save his loved one from a villain. Running in slow motion, I caught him.

“My bucket!”, said I in a tone of authority. He had no choice but to give it as my name written on it was still visible, barely.

Triumphantly, I went back to my room.

When it was time to bath (at about 8), one of my neighbours (who was my first year room mate) came and told me, “Kaaks, I have a surprise for you.”

(Slow music playing in the background and a holy light shining in through the door)

And there it was! My cup in all its glory!!

I  jumped and grabbed it from him.

As I said, finally my hope has been rewarded. Both now rest safely under my cot. Hope they be there till I shift into single rooms.

The last night of a hosteler.

When finally the days are over…

When finally you have put behind all the tiring assignments, sessionals and all…

When finally you have become an engineer…

When finally the time has come for you to leave this life at college once and for all…

You don’t want to leave.

You want those times again. You want to just forget about tomorrow and sleep. Waking up the next day early to eat breakfast and leave for college. The packed up bag and the empty rails along with the silence reminds you that your dream is not going to happen…

You think of getting out of your room to go into your friends’ room. But you find no strength to do it. After all, none of them have come to yours. Some of your friends have already left. They’re probably at their homes by then.

“Why did they leave even without a single word?”, you think.

You think of going to one of your friends and telling him farewell… You understand why no one told you they were leaving…

You understand….

FRIENDS NEVER SAY GOODBYE.

There is nothing special. Just another night in your life that you have to sleep through. You close your eyes.

All of them come flying to you…

All the memories…

All those moments that you have shared together…

The friendships that were made, the love that was felt, the decisions that were made, the celebrations that were done….

Your breathe becomes heavier and you find that words don’t come when you try to raise your voice.

“Its just one night!”, you tell yourself. But its not like any of the nights that you have ever lived through in your whole life.

All the thoughts just become too much for you. And you take the only way out of the situation. You let your emotions out. You cry.

The silent tears flow. You don’t know why. You can’t think why. You think of anything and everything that comes into your mind. The tears just won’t stop…

Your room’s door slowly opens… You try to stop yourself… But you see him standing there.

Nothing in the world could stop you.

You jump and hug him.

You can’t find words to say nor can you think of anything…

The tears just keep flowing and all that you can do is to tighten your hug…

After a while, you leave the hug and don’t look at his face… And neither does he at yours… He walks away and you lock your door.

“Just one more day! Oh please God… Just one more day…”, so you pray wishing for the impossible.

All the times that you’ve pulled through living boldly and strong, nothing helps at the moment… You fall on your bed and burst into tears… The child within comes out… And you”re just a little kid who wants a bit attention…

“Just one more day….”, the last thought that comes to you…

You sleep your last night. You’re leaving never to return again.

God give me strength.

Good news!

With the slight guilt of having troubled the seniors with their projects by blowing up the UPS, I went to college today. We had to submit the soft copy of our mini project report today (at least we thought so) and JHspice was on it. Rambo Jinu, the chairman, editing and formatting the whole report from top to bottom from morning to evening, got really tired of it by the end.

After finishing it by 3.30 in the evening, we decided to submit it in front of our guide. But it was Anuraj sir!! The man who knew about the power of mordor. A bit hesitating, I finally decided to go and meet him.

There he was standing in front of the lab holding his head. I took a few deep breaths and got ready for receiving whatever was going to come.

Getting closer to him, I was greeted by a warm smile. Something told me that not everything was wrong. Even though Ponnappan had mentioned it, I hadn’t quite digested it.

He said with a smile, “It was not the UPS of your lab that got damaged. It was the other lab’s. You could’ve resumed your work if you had came today morning to the lab.”

The sense of relief and at the same time the sense of guilt for not having had more faith in myself, in what I was doing and in God who sees and knows all, I stood there with him. It was pouring cats and dogs. He was enjoying the rain. Or maybe he was wondering how to get home. His slight headache prevented him from checking our soft copies today and he was standing there, hands folded on the bars of the grill, leaning forward. It was one of those mesmerized moments where you just stare at something and see that you can’t take your eyes away. I accompanied him. After all, neither of us could get out of the building (since the birthday girl, Afaf, had borrowed my Umbrella and I was waiting for her to return it).

We talked.

For the first time in college, I could talk to one of my teachers with an open mind. We joked a while about how a guy riding a bike almost fell down risking a turn in the mud in front of our block. We talked about the rain and how heavy it was. We talked about the department and the sorry state that it was in. I told him about the one thing I wished for the most in college. A few motivating words from the side of a teacher.

He listened to me. He said his part and I said mine. We were entertained by how one of the teachers was trying to get her car out of a messy situation from right under our nose.

It was nice and heart warming.

Q: How was the day? A: Oh it was a blast!

I guess I’ve never been so literal in my life.

Mission lab – Day 3 (D – Day)

With much more enthusiasm to finally see the fruits of our labour, we were in full swing today. Although I was bit late in waking up due to the uninterrupted series of sneezes that I had last night, I managed to get to the lab half an hour late. The team was given instruction to start without me and start, they had!

I was a bit thrown back (with each sneeze that I made) and I just couldn’t do hardware today. But when Chellan is there, who needs to do hardware? He was already taking things apart when I entered. “Let’s begin installation!”

I was pretty adamant about installing 10.04 as it was an LTS release. But I knew not my fate on the path I had chosen! We forged a way, a psycho path, hoping to find light at the end but alas! The fate that awaited us was grim indeed. Even by the sword of elendil, light was not shone (But our mobile phones helped a lot. 😛 ).

I could say Ponnappan was the hard disk specialist. He had some spell that made hard disks work. We burnt two new installation disks of Ubuntu 10.04 and started installation. Well, just as Hobbes puts it, “You can take the tiger out of a jungle but you can’t take the jungle out of a tiger.” And like that, I just couldn’t resist the temptation to name the computers that I installed something weird. But why make it weird? Lord Of The Rings shall it be!

Shire, started I, Rohan, Lorien and things were going pretty smooth. Except for a few systems simply not accepting the 10.04 disk. They were more adamant than me and I had to go for Debian distros. On our way we found out that we had reinstall certain Windows XP OSs too. We couldn’t risk them having viruses after our job was done.

Our compiler, Bose, was on the job. He was installing systems just like children playing with their toys. And I was sitting on one too. When I reached the partitioning part, I found out that it was a 160 GB hard disk! 50 GB was already given as NTFS for windows. And I was about to give the rest for Ubuntu when I simply asked Ponnnan for his opinion. “Make 50 GB more as D-drive and then give the rest for Ubuntu.”, said he.

“Why can’t it be the other way around?”, I asked.

“Because you install stuff in windows. You don’t do that in Linux”, he said.

I was completely clueless. But I did do as he asked.

However, we sill were forging a path. Unfortunately, none of us cared to notice the faint smell of burnt ash. We were nearing somewhere dark and dreary.

Ponnappan was installing a system with Debian. He asked me where our journey had reached. Although I said “Isengrad”, we both had a fall out on whether it was “Isengrad” or “Isengard”.

“MORDOR!”, thundered a sound from behind! It was Chellan.

Both of us decided on Mordor and named it thus.

Slowly Mordor started coming to life but Frodo had already made it!

“KABLOOOOIEEE!!!”

We heard a blast and all was dark. Here was where the sword of Elendil was of no use. We shone our mobile phones instead. But the damage was done! Something had gone really wrong.

—————————————-

Thus ended the third day with a blast! Anuraj sir consoled me that it was a natural thing to happen and not to worry. But it seems we will have to wait long to see the fruits of our labour.

 

Mission lab – Day 2.

I was all set to be sitting and installing ubuntu on all the systems when going to the lab today morning. But life just isn’t that easy. We had forgotten about a few CPUs sitting in the cabin. Anuraj sir had told us to check them out. Two of them were brand new and three of them were quite old. Even though we only had three damaged systems while leaving the lab yesterday, now we had 8. But five of them were yet to be diagnosed.

We started away in full throttle. We had two screw drivers today which meant that we could cause double the damage we had caused yesterday. But the great evil struck us! Distraction.

It was the last date to submit the application forms for our sixth semester exams. And we were interrupted constantly by people coming and going giving their forms and talking about this and that. No one was to blame. Sharat had his hands full as he was the rep. I admire his responsibility. He called up all of those who didn’t even bother about the matter and asked them to somehow submit their forms. Ranjith helped him in filling the forms and setting the money matters right. But all in all, our main objective didn’t make much of a progress.

The two new systems that we took today didn’t have hard disks. But it supported DDR2 RAMs. So we had to set them up. Anuraj sir came after a while and blessed us with 6 new SMPSs, 4 DDR2 – 512MB RAMs, one disk drive, one hard disk and a lot of encouraging words. Since we got the RAMs, we decided to set up the new CPUs.

To do that we dissected the already working old CPUs and pulled out their hard disks. We put them in the new ones, placed the brand new RAMs in them and got them working.

Somewhere in between all this, something went wrong. I still can’t get it. We slowed down considerably. I don’t know if it was because we tried installing distros in between this or because we took each and every component apart testing them individually or just because of just plain bad luck, but we were slow.

All things considered, we identified that three motherboards were corrupt and one’s power button wasn’t functioning. Two among the three CPUs whose motherboard was corrupt and the one that had its power button bad were the three among the first five ones that we took!! Putting it that way really makes me crazy.

So all in all, it was a hard software day. and there are still a few hard disks, a couple of drives, two RAMs, and some six or seven SMPSs lying around over there.

Its going to be one heck of a satisfaction once we’ve cleaned the whole thing up. And some emotional attachment to this lab is going to last always even after leaving my campus.

Mission lab – Day 1.

Dear Lord! What a department ours is. One whole computer lab called the “Debian networks lab” lying there completely unattended to! No one even cares whether it lies like that or not. I believe Anuraj sir and Viji ma’am do care, but they just don’t have the time to do anything about it them being the only two staffs in our department (another one of our department’s mention-worthy features).

Anyway, at last I went and asked Anuraj sir if I could help him out. I just couldn’t sit quietly when so much resources were just lying there underutilized. I wonder why no one ever cared to do anything about it.

He agreed and I decided to stay at the hostel itself this week even though almost all the others are happily at their homes. I wanted to learn and moreover, I didn’t want anyone else to feel what I felt on seeing the condition of the lab. So I was determined to do it.

Since all the hostelers had planned to go home, I called three of the day scholars to help me out. Sharat, Ranjith and Sudheesh (Ponnan, Chellan and Bose respectively). We did quite a good job in the lab today.

It was hardware day. Dissecting all the systems and identifying where lay the faults in the systems that didn’t work. RAMs, SMPSs, CMOSs, Motherboards, what not! We dissected everything to the core and have drawn a fine line between those systems having a hardware complaint and those systems that don’t have it.

DDR, DDR2, 128 to 256 to 512 to 1024 MB RAMs were there. All working, surprisingly. We got two spare RAMs and those are still lying somewhere in the lab! Hope no one decides to play flute with it.

A very constructive day and I can see more interesting stuff ahead. Can’t wait for tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the software day where we install all the systems with OSs and get them up and running.

To the future!

Mountain climbing.

Oh am I proud to be studying at NSS College of Engineering! A ten minutes walk from our hostel and there stand the mighty mountains in all their majestic splendor just waiting to be conquered by you. Not many have the experience of climbing a mountain for their evening walks. And I’m glad I’m one among those who have that gratifying moments of enjoying entire Palakkad standing on top of the world!

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The walk to the base of the mountains itself is glorious. Passing a tree cave made by the overlapping branches of the rubber trees from both sides of the way surely brings out the human in you. You feel your heart yearning for something that it has been missing. True beauty lifts its veil for a while so that those who look can see beholding what lies beneath all the lies that we believe to be true. It is the moment where we actually realize that there is more to all the things around you. It is the moment when you realize that these are not to be taken for granted.

A poem that one of my friends wrote during our first year comes to mind… I would like to quote it here:

Rubber trees abundant all around,

lush greenery soothing your troubled mind,

the lonely woody and windy paths,

bringing back your memories alive,

leading me to a world of nothingness, but just me.

Innocent people, innocent minds,

drawing me to a world of love and hope.

The pleasant breeze on my face.

The living river flowing like pearls,

the life around, exciting me beyond reasons!

How I would like to be there…

just even for one day,

to feel the nature again,

and me again, who is lost in this wild world…

~ Written by Afaf Banu.

It is the experience of a lifetime. No plans to be made, no trips to be organized, no money to be spent, no formalities to be kept… You just walk straight on and start climbing. Free nature all around. Oh how blind we all are!

Of course, you can’t go running up a mountain. No sir!! You have to climb it. Holding and placing your feet carefully. And you become tired too.

But with every small portion that you climb, something starts coming your way. And what is that you ask? One, the majestic sight!! No high resolution pictures that you can put in any wide, wide screen monitors will come close to what meets your eyes once you have climbed half way through. Photos don’t do justice to what you behold!

But that’s not all…

The wind! Oh my dear lord!!! The lovely wind that blows at you!! You can breathe and breathe and breathe and never exhale! Of course, that might be stupid, but hope you get the idea.

On top of the world!

All the tiredness that you feel while climbing just washes away in a singe moment once the wind greets your face. You feel like a bird soaring over the skies. You feel like spreading your arms and letting go of yourself. To leave everything to fate and finally fly away freely…

The nipple point still remains to be conquered. One more year left and our strength and spirits are only growing harder and stronger. We will do it.

But that’s not all. What do you do when you finally do something hard? The child within comes out and we shout “Hooray!!”, And that’s what we did in the end too!

We did jump on a mountain!

Man, my mom is going to kill me! 😀 😛

I love her. 🙂

In the marsh.

Sunk in the marsh, I see what lies beneath. Nothing has life anymore. I’m dead and so are the things I perceive. I see people talk, I see people laugh. But everything is just a lie to me. I walk around. I see things around me. The green grass and trees are not green to me anymore. In no words I find respite. In nothing do I feel the reality. Everything floats. The aim, the goal, the meaning, the path… I blaze a trail no more. I follow the path that has already been laid. I find no power, no work, no force heals those wounds events inflict upon you. Once you feel the pain, you’re afraid to even be near such an event again. You isolate yourself. No matter how fast you heal a scar you have on your hand, a smell, a scenery, a few words… They always bring back what you never want to remember…

I always thought I was a fool in seeing meaning in those Wolverine comics that I used to read when I was a kid. But now I see not everything was a fluke to make money. I can now relate to something.

Oh Lord… Forgive us for humans we are.

Responsibilities lie ahead…

Thoughts and emotions, I find them a luxury.

Nayeem Noor Mohammed.

The big guy (literally).

I got to hear about him during my first year at college. Here is the story. I really believe this post is worth writing.

One fine day evening Pradeep and Vimal (my hostel roomies, Electrical Department) had some news for me. It was Humanities seminar for them the last hour that day.

It was a girl’s seminar. Or rather, a female student’s seminar (just to avoid the riff raff 😉 ). The topic I don’t remember. But here we go.

At the ending of her seminar, she finally concluded up with the idea that females should also have freedom and something of the sort. On a small scale she pointed out the lack of need for females to wear the Purdah (a kind of black loose dress which covers up almost everything).

Confidently, she stopped and started going back to her place. Just as she was about to sit down….

(A music playing in the background and a bit of slow motion would be nice too… 😀 )

Naeem Noor Mohammed stands up.

“Ma’am”, says he, “I have a question.”

“Do ask son”, replied the teacher.

Naeem, facing the girl, begins.

Suppose you are walking through a ‘not so clean’ market. There are two apples with a street vendor. One covered and the other exposed to the flies and dust. My friend, I ask you… Which one will you take?”

The teacher jumped up from her place, “THAT IS THE QUESTION!!!”, she ejaculated.

The analogy sinked in pretty quick and there was much shouting and roaring. The class was dismissed.

————————————————————-

Well, that is the story. And I simply loved the delivery. I was a great fan of his and I still am, realizing he is a man of many talents. Pradeep and Vimal calls me Noor. 🙂 Koushik to an extend too. I love them all. With lots of memories…

Omen?

The question mark there is not actually to ask whether what I’m going to write is an Omen or not but to ask whether that should be title for this post. Well, that’s actually the same thing, but a slight difference if you know what I mean. 😉

Its actually quite hurting when people call you names. But in contrast to that, there are times when getting called by certain names by certain people are the best moments of your life.

I’ve got a few of those names alright.

  • Kaakku
  • MPK (Metro Pottan Kaakku)
  • Noor
  • CBI (Complaint Box Inspector)

This post is not about what I feel on hearing those names but about two small incidents regarding the second and third names.

Only two or three call me Noor. And its meaning is ‘light’ by which I feel proud in the fact that I’m being called that. But one fine day when I had went to a nearby shop from our Hostel, I happened to see a Jeep. A delivery Jeep.

With a kind of… I don’t know what the word is… A kind of something, I read the name written on the Jeep…

NOOR SETTU BEEDIS

Beedis means cigarettes and Noor Settu was the company name!!! From then on my height didn’t increase that much whenever those two or three called me Noor.

But the wonder was that Jeep coming so close to our hostel just to show me that. 🙂

Now, coming to the second name… Wouldn’t you say that very three letters being on a truck will be just plain insult?? 😛 Whatever you say, last Friday, just as I was about to enter mosque, while crossing the road, a few fierce honks came. I had just time to jump out of the way and look at what the hell was honking at me. You know what I saw? An ape autorickshaw with its name written as:

MPK SONS

So I ask you again, Omen? 😉

See? – Saw?

People used to believe in things that they see. But I guess that idea is not that true as the following video proves. I lost a bit faith in my own very eyes as it deceived me. Just do as the video says and keep looking at the spot. After the video is over, read what I’ve written underneath.

Concentrating on the dot, you saw a color picture at the end right? With green grass, blue sky and all? Then watch that video once more looking anywhere but the dot and see if that green grass and blue sky was really there! Please don’t hate me!!!

A west day’s end.(An unfinished story)

Intro: This was written during my first year of college. I wanted to write something and this is what I did. However, the story reached a point where I couldn’t make myself to continue with it. It ended up in me calling two of my friends and having a hearty discussion about it. Are we alive?

———————————————

The sun was setting. It seemed to him that with the sunset, the final hopes of joy and life were going to go forever. It was not as if life was always kind to him. But life being kind or not was not his problem.

He walked slowly across the beach, golden in sight as if by Midas’ touch. Not a soul was in sight and he knew it would be so. It was his first time there and probably his last time too. He came there to collect his thoughts. His own thoughts only soothed by the calm voice of the waves.

He walked on. His body seemed a burden to his feet and his mind was an unsolved jigsaw puzzle. He would solve it today or never. Such was his decision.

Time was plenty as the quietness and the red sun seemed to slow down the time to almost a standstill. He at last found the place he was looking for. A stone, a single rock standing upright determined to be there until the end of days and not to be moved by anyone.

He slowly settled down by the side of it. He had brought with him a bottle of wine called the ‘vintage 726’. He had picked it upon his way just to contain himself if anything was to go absolutely out  of control. He had heard enough to know that wine could wash away all the hurt in one’s mind. Of course, he had never tried it out till now. But if he was to, this would’ve been the best place to try it out.

He made himself comfy by the rock’s side. He wanted somehow to start his train of thoughts.

There was no rush. He watched the sun go down inch by inch, plunging the world into a realm of darkness.

Why? He thought. What is the purpose of all these things happening? Was it all a part of a predetermined or already written story? Then what is point in thinking things over? All that happens is bound to happen. So what am I doing?

As usual, a number of questions and zero answers. But he would not give up. He would not leave until he challenged his own very existence. This time, for once, he was determined not to give up.

“People were entitled to their beliefs and opinions. That doesn’t mean I have to be to theirs too, does it? Of course not. There is a purpose, a certain hidden force that drove me to this very spot, for this very purpose. I shall discover that.

If this was predetermined, then how come I can think it is predetermined? Do the characters in the stories of great authors ever think if they are only just creations doing and living according to the author’s whims? No they do not. But I wondered that. I have burdened myself with the doubt whether I am just a character in someone’s story”.

With this thought, he suddenly felt a tingling excitement. “Suppose I am just a character, then anything can happen now!”. Just as this thought crossed his mind, he heard a rumbling sound. At first it sounded like some trucks shifting on the beach, but then it started growing louder. The shiver came up through his spine.